When we consult an A.A. friend, we should not be reluctant to remind him of our need for full privacy. Intimate communication is normally so free and easy among us that an A.A. adviser may sometimes forget when we expect him to remain silent. The protective sanctity of this most healing of human relations oughtContinue reading “Healing Talk – As Bill Sees It #102”
Category Archives: Shame
Feeling Special and Unique – 12 Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery By Dr. Allen Berger
PART ONE | Humility Humility is the spiritual foundation of recovery. In order to feel worthy, we do not need to be unique. People who do best in recovery are those who surrender and follow suggestions. A common first response to the requirements of recovery is to negotiate, to pick and choose what we thinkContinue reading “Feeling Special and Unique – 12 Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery By Dr. Allen Berger”
Getting To Know Our Differentiated Self – 12 Essential Insights For Emotional Sobriety By Dr. Allen Berger
I think there is a strong connection between this article and what I like to call the ‘mini-steps’ suggested as responses to a spot inventory of what disturbs us. These mini-steps are suggested in the Twelve £ Twelve in Step 10. Specifically, I see this article as very prescriptive when I find myself taking thingsContinue reading “Getting To Know Our Differentiated Self – 12 Essential Insights For Emotional Sobriety By Dr. Allen Berger”
Great Temptation Of Self Rejection – Discernment By Henri Nouwen
Henri Nouwen is thought of as one of the greatest spiritual teachers and authors of the 20th century. I found this short extract from his book entitled ‘Discernment’ to have a great deal of relevance to the Toxic Shame section of our website. One of my favorite books of his so relevant to what happensContinue reading “Great Temptation Of Self Rejection – Discernment By Henri Nouwen”
Can Healing Begin By Accepting Our Contradictions – Litanies Of The Heart By Gerry Crete
As you may know , our website has a section entitled ‘Healing Our Jekyll/Hyde Divided Self. This extract from a book ‘Litanies of the Heart’ further supports the idea of accepting the existence of many parts within us … what is called multiplicity. How often have you heard yourself or others say ‘a part ofContinue reading “Can Healing Begin By Accepting Our Contradictions – Litanies Of The Heart By Gerry Crete”
Finding Humility As We Lose Self-Hate – Touchstones Reflection November 10th
Humility is just as much the opposite of self-abasement as it is of self-exaltation. –Dag Hammarskjold In our struggles with self-hate and guilt, we may have thought we were humble – or perhaps even too humble. But self-abasement, which often alternates with feelings of superiority, is not the spiritual quality of humility that we striveContinue reading “Finding Humility As We Lose Self-Hate – Touchstones Reflection November 10th”
The Fellowship Of The Weak – Henri Nouwen Daily Meditation November 7th
Many of us have an experience of finding how the weakness of our alcoholism becomes a gateway to a profound belonging in the A.A. Fellowship. In this fellowship, we find fellow sufferers who are committed, one day at a time, to sobriety , healing and wholeness. We find that our weakness, which before had separatedContinue reading “The Fellowship Of The Weak – Henri Nouwen Daily Meditation November 7th”
False Pride & Self Centered Fear – Experience The Big Book By Dr. Michael H.
Clancy I., in one of his talks, stated that false pride is a killer for alcoholics. He defined false pride as a compensation for feeling “less than”. That statement defined my life. From early childhood, I was constantly seeking approval through actions or achievements. Just being “Michael” wasn’t good enough. I never felt OK.Continue reading “False Pride & Self Centered Fear – Experience The Big Book By Dr. Michael H.”
Live Your Wounds & Befriend Your Pain – Henri Nouwen Daily Meditation October 9th, 10th
I love these two short daily meditations from Henri Nouwen. I see so much of what drives my addiction as an unhealthy response and relationship to pain. I have been a pain killer and am now learning, with the help of a Higher Power and my A.A. community, to be a pain healer. That transformingContinue reading “Live Your Wounds & Befriend Your Pain – Henri Nouwen Daily Meditation October 9th, 10th”
Toxic Shame, Character Defects & Out Of Proportion Reactions
A few weeks ago, we read the short reflection entitled ‘The Trance Of Unworthiness’. That reading is a poignant reminder of how many of us lose proportion and consciousness when we’re triggered and believe we’re under attack by this toxic shame and painful experience of our unworthiness. We seem to shut down and enter intoContinue reading “Toxic Shame, Character Defects & Out Of Proportion Reactions”