I’ve heard some version of this from newcomer sponsees more times than I can count: “I put down the bottle. I’m praying every day. I’m going to meetings. I’m calling you. Why don’t I feel better? Why isn’t my life getting better? And why am I not farther along than some of these other people?” It’s a fairContinue reading “The Recovery Scorecard: Why Isn’t My Life Better Yet? – Take The 12 Blog September 2026 By Rick W”
Category Archives: Experience Avoidance
Giving Up Defects – As Bill Sees It #136
Looking at those defects we are unwilling to give up, we ought to erase the hard and fast lines that we have drawn. Perhaps in some cases we shall say, “This I cannot give up yet. . .” But we should not say to ourselves, “This I will never give up!” The moment we say,Continue reading “Giving Up Defects – As Bill Sees It #136”
The Paradox Of Self Compassion September 2026 By Dr. Kristin Neff
There’s a paradox at the heart of self-compassion. Although the word “self” is right there in the name, self-compassion actually represents a movement away from the perspective of self. In fact, it should probably be spelled “self→compassion.” This movement is reflected in the way I define and measure self-compassion. The Self-Compassion Scale has six subscales, whichContinue reading “The Paradox Of Self Compassion September 2026 By Dr. Kristin Neff”
Membership Rules? – As Bill Sees It #41
Around 1943 or 1944, the Central Office asked the groups to list their membership rules and send them in. After they arrived we set them all down. A little reflection upon these many rules brought us to an astonishing conclusion. If all of these edicts had been in force everywhere at once it would haveContinue reading “Membership Rules? – As Bill Sees It #41”
When We Stop Negotiating With Reality – Take The 12 Blog May 2026 By Rick W.
Step One, Acceptance, and the Freedom Found in Surrender One of the most exhausting things an alcoholic ever does is negotiate with reality. We negotiate with consequences. We negotiate with truth. We negotiate with our own patterns, our own pain, our own powerlessness. We say things like: And perhaps the most dangerous negotiation of all: “IContinue reading “When We Stop Negotiating With Reality – Take The 12 Blog May 2026 By Rick W.”
Learning To Support Not Punish Ourselves By Dr. Kristin Neff
The most important boundary I have is with myself. It is not OK for me to condemn or hate myself. Instead of believing and accepting that judgment; I can pause and gets curious about this reaction of so much hate and disgust for myself. What I usually find is that I’m believing a bunch ofContinue reading “Learning To Support Not Punish Ourselves By Dr. Kristin Neff”
What If Pressure Isn’t Punishment? – Take The 12 Blog May 2026 By Rick W.
There’s a moment in recovery where life starts pressing in from every side and it feels like everything is falling apart. The relationship is strained. The finances are tight.The emotions are raw. The character defects are impossible to ignore. The loneliness feels louder now that the noise of alcohol, chaos, or compulsions has been turned down. And somewhereContinue reading “What If Pressure Isn’t Punishment? – Take The 12 Blog May 2026 By Rick W.”
Letting Go Of Old Beliefs – The Language Of Letting Go June 23rd By Melody Beattie
Try harder. Do better. Be perfect. These messages are tricks that people have played on us. No matter how hard we try, we think we have to do better. Perfection always eludes us. Messages of perfectionism are tricks because we can never achieve that goal. We cannot feel good about ourselves or what we haveContinue reading “Letting Go Of Old Beliefs – The Language Of Letting Go June 23rd By Melody Beattie”
Practicing Surrender – Extract From Progloue/Epilogue Of Surrender To Love By David Benner
How does surrender address the fundamental reality of ‘lack of power, that was our dilemma’ (BB p.45) ? What is the dynamic between the surrender of offering myself or abandoning myself and finding who I really am … my true self … distinguishing the true from the false ? Is it possible that to “thineContinue reading “Practicing Surrender – Extract From Progloue/Epilogue Of Surrender To Love By David Benner”
What You Practice Gets Stronger – Radical Compassion Extract From Chapter 2 By Tara Brach
I like to tell students the story of a man who went to a mindfulness retreat because his therapist said he’d feel better if he learned to meditate. The retreat turned out to be a real roller coaster. Yes, there were moments of calm, but he also plunged deeply into fear, anger, and grief. TheContinue reading “What You Practice Gets Stronger – Radical Compassion Extract From Chapter 2 By Tara Brach”