I’ve heard some version of this from newcomer sponsees more times than I can count: “I put down the bottle. I’m praying every day. I’m going to meetings. I’m calling you. Why don’t I feel better? Why isn’t my life getting better? And why am I not farther along than some of these other people?” It’s a fairContinue reading “The Recovery Scorecard: Why Isn’t My Life Better Yet? – Take The 12 Blog September 2026 By Rick W”
Category Archives: Expectations
The Paradox Of Self Compassion September 2026 By Dr. Kristin Neff
There’s a paradox at the heart of self-compassion. Although the word “self” is right there in the name, self-compassion actually represents a movement away from the perspective of self. In fact, it should probably be spelled “self→compassion.” This movement is reflected in the way I define and measure self-compassion. The Self-Compassion Scale has six subscales, whichContinue reading “The Paradox Of Self Compassion September 2026 By Dr. Kristin Neff”
Guide to a Better Way – As Bill Sees It #149
Almost none of us liked the self-searching, the leveling of our pride, the confession of shortcomings which the Steps require. But we saw that the program really worked in others, and we had come to believe in the hopelessness of life as we had been living it. When, therefore, we were approached by those inContinue reading “Guide to a Better Way – As Bill Sees It #149”
The Need to Go Deeper – Grapevine Article August 2012 By Richard D.
Uncovering all the harm he caused in his drinking days restored his compassion for others STEP EIGHT: Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. Looking back, it is probably safe to say that I harmed many people whom I came in contact with duringContinue reading “The Need to Go Deeper – Grapevine Article August 2012 By Richard D.”
Praying for Others – As Bill Sees It #206
While praying sincerely, we still may fall into temptation. We form ideas as to what we think God’s will is for other people. We say to ourselves, “This one ought to be cured of his fatal malady” or “That one ought to be relieved of his emotional pain,” and we pray for these specific things.Continue reading “Praying for Others – As Bill Sees It #206”
Expectations: The Hidden Contracts We Never Signed – Take The 12 Blog June 2026 By Rick W.
One of the more interesting writing assignments I’ve ever suggested to a sponsee had nothing to do with Step Four, amends lists, or character defects. It was simply this: Write about your expectations. At first glance, that may not seem like a particularly “A.A.” topic. Expectations don’t appear in the Twelve Steps. The Big Book doesn’tContinue reading “Expectations: The Hidden Contracts We Never Signed – Take The 12 Blog June 2026 By Rick W.”
When We Stop Negotiating With Reality – Take The 12 Blog May 2026 By Rick W.
Step One, Acceptance, and the Freedom Found in Surrender One of the most exhausting things an alcoholic ever does is negotiate with reality. We negotiate with consequences. We negotiate with truth. We negotiate with our own patterns, our own pain, our own powerlessness. We say things like: And perhaps the most dangerous negotiation of all: “IContinue reading “When We Stop Negotiating With Reality – Take The 12 Blog May 2026 By Rick W.”
What If Pressure Isn’t Punishment? – Take The 12 Blog May 2026 By Rick W.
There’s a moment in recovery where life starts pressing in from every side and it feels like everything is falling apart. The relationship is strained. The finances are tight.The emotions are raw. The character defects are impossible to ignore. The loneliness feels louder now that the noise of alcohol, chaos, or compulsions has been turned down. And somewhereContinue reading “What If Pressure Isn’t Punishment? – Take The 12 Blog May 2026 By Rick W.”
Rewiring the Way We Speak, Listen, and Think – Take The 12 Blog June 2026 By Rick W.
Sobriety Didn’t Just Change What I Said, It Changed How I Communicate. How Recovery Rewired the Way I Speak, Listen, and Think One of the most overlooked miracles of recovery has very little to do with alcohol. Most of us came to Alcoholics Anonymous because drinking had become unmanageable. We stayed because we discovered somethingContinue reading “Rewiring the Way We Speak, Listen, and Think – Take The 12 Blog June 2026 By Rick W.”
Money – Before And After – As Bill Sees It #177
In our drinking time, we acted as if the money supply were inexhaustible, though between binges we’d sometimes go to the other extreme and become miserly. Without realizing it, we were just accumulating funds for the next spree. Money was the symbol of pleasure and self-importance. As our drinking became worse, money was only anContinue reading “Money – Before And After – As Bill Sees It #177”