As you may know , our website has a section entitled ‘Healing Our Jekyll/Hyde Divided Self. This extract from a book ‘Litanies of the Heart’ further supports the idea of accepting the existence of many parts within us … what is called multiplicity. How often have you heard yourself or others say ‘a part of me wants X and another part of me wants Y’ … a part of me is analytical, cautious and thoughtful and another part of me is impulsive, carefree and reckless. How can we come to terms with these conflicts within ourselves? And what is really true about ourselves when we seem to vacillate so strongly as we blend and identify with one distinct part of ourselves when other parts seem to have such different underlying beliefs, perspectives and life strategies?
For me, it’s quite useful and defusing to often remind myself when I find myself feeling very strongly about something … that a part of me is feeling that way but another part of me might feel quite different … that I am not all or nothing … that very, very often … if I’m honest and open minded … I can hold contradictory beliefs maybe about someone I resent … a part of me really resents X because they hurt my feelings while another part of me is really grateful for X because they are honest and clear in sharing what I seem to have a blind spot about.
And what if what is most true … innermost … about ourselves was filled with an unsuspected inner resource … this inmost self was compassionate, caring , confident , curious , courageous , creative , clear , and connected (what is described as the 8 c’s) … and this inmost self (like our breath) was always with us (hidden or masked) but indestructible despite whatever our life circumstances have put us through.
These are some of the key principles that modern therapy is now producing evidence to support … what we might describe as a spiritual center in this inmost self that can help these many parts of ourselves relax and heal … and can provide the leadership through these 8c’s that has been so lacking in our lives. This therapy is called Internal Family Systems and can be much more deeply explored in the Jekyll/ Hyde section of the website. If you have had lots of problems with relapse, I would especially encourage you and your sponsor to go further on this topic – Bruce M.
There are five important and perhaps radical teachings that I hope became clear . I see them as life-changing, as they have transformed both my practice and my own life. Here they are in summary:
1. The human psyche has multiplicity and is made up of an inmost self and many parts of the self-system.
2. Our exiled parts carry burdens as they learn to cope with the pain, fear, and shame caused by trauma. Our manager and firefighter parts carry burdens based on the roles they take on to protect exiled parts.
3. True self-love occurs when the inmost self, with God’s grace, exercises the role of secure inner attachment figure, loves the parts, and helps them let go of their burdens.
4. With a fuller, more authentic self-love, we can more fully love God and others. We seek an inner harmony between the inmost self and our parts.
5. The inmost self serves as the mediator between God and the parts. The inmost self invites the parts of the self, once unburdened, into a deeper communion with God.
As we come to know our parts, especially the parts that, at first glance, appear troubled or even self-destructive, we need to account for the reality of evil in the world and in ourselves. …Wounds cause our parts to carry burdens that fill our rich inner lives with reactivity, defensiveness, avoidance, anger, fear, shame, and self-hatred. Our negative reactions are generally ways that we have learned to cope. Our unhealthy behaviors are often the ways we have learned to avoid pain or find comfort that numbs pain.
The answer to the problems of trauma, suffering, self-hatred, avoidance, reactivity, and all sorts of emotional, psychological, and spiritual distress is simple but profound—we are to be transformed by supernatural love.
4 thoughts on “Can Healing Begin By Accepting Our Contradictions – Litanies Of The Heart By Gerry Crete”