The question is not why the addiction, but why the pain. – Dr. Gabor Matte Based on my research and the research of other shame researchers, I believe that there is a profound difference between shame and guilt. I believe that guilt is adaptive and helpful—it’s holding something we’ve done or failed to do up against ourContinue reading “From Toxic Shame To Healing Guilt – Part 1 – Decision Steps 1 thru 3 – By Bruce M”
Category Archives: Shame
What Anxiety And Rigorous Honesty Have To Teach Us? 12 Essential Insights For Emotional Sobriety By Dr. Allen Berger
There are many powerful forces at work in our lives in relation to our personal development, but some of the most significant ones are the desires to be loved, to be accepted, and to feel that we belong. Take a moment to think about the importance of those desires in your current life. Can youContinue reading “What Anxiety And Rigorous Honesty Have To Teach Us? 12 Essential Insights For Emotional Sobriety By Dr. Allen Berger”
A Circle Of Friends – Grapevine Article December 1992 By Jim D.
I was a loner all my life. I was always scared and ashamed. I was poor, I lived in a dilapidated house, and my alcoholic father put my family through hell. I never had any friends. I despised alcohol for dealing me such a rotten break in life. As an adult, I vowed never toContinue reading “A Circle Of Friends – Grapevine Article December 1992 By Jim D.”
Boomerang – As Bill Sees It #185
When I was ten, I was tall and gawky, and smaller kids could push me around in quarrels. I remember being very depressed for a year or more, and then I began to develop a fierce resolve to win. One day, my grandfather came along with a book about Australia and told me, “This bookContinue reading “Boomerang – As Bill Sees It #185”
Our Secrets Keep Us Stuck – Each Day A New Beginning June 30th
. . . in silence might be the privilege of the strong, but it was certainly a danger to the weak. For the things I was prompted to keep silent about were nearly always the things I was ashamed of, which would have been far better aired . . . –Joanna Field It has beenContinue reading “Our Secrets Keep Us Stuck – Each Day A New Beginning June 30th”
Connections Between The Four Agreements & Recovery June 2022 By Mark S.
Recently I found myself returning to a book I had read many years ago – The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Don Miguel Ruiz. As I reflected on his thoughts about these “Four Agreements,” I began to see connections with our efforts to achieve and maintain sobriety. In this article, I hope to show youContinue reading “Connections Between The Four Agreements & Recovery June 2022 By Mark S.”
Unlikely Teachers – Grapevine Article April 1990 By Kit K.
“When the student is ready, the teacher appears.” How I hated to hear those words at meetings. They implied humility and a willingness to listen to whatever stranger happened to sit next to me or approach me on the street. Yet during five years of sobriety, many teachers have appeared in my life. Some wereContinue reading “Unlikely Teachers – Grapevine Article April 1990 By Kit K.”
Walking Toward Serenity – As Bill Sees It #92
When I was tired and couldn’t concentrate, I used to fall back on an affirmation toward life that took the form of simple walking and deep breathing. I sometimes told myself that I couldn’t do even this—that I was to weak. But I learned that this was the point at which I could not giveContinue reading “Walking Toward Serenity – As Bill Sees It #92”
Rules Without Reason – Grapevine Article February 1987 By E.E.
It was hard to hear the voice on the telephone over the rain pelting outside my window. “Is that you, Joan? You don’t sound like yourself. Is something wrong?” It was “Joan,” six weeks sober, checking in with her sponsor on the coldest, wettest night of the year, in a voice I hardly recognized. “IContinue reading “Rules Without Reason – Grapevine Article February 1987 By E.E.”
Eliminating Shame Through The Principles and Practices of Alcoholics Anonymous by Steve K.
The word shame is derived from the Indo-European ‘skein’, which means to hide. Shame makes us want to hide from ourselves, and our peers – making shame an existentially isolating state of mind. Feeling shame makes a person dejection-based, passive, or helpless, causing the ashamed person to focus more on devaluing or condemning his entireContinue reading “Eliminating Shame Through The Principles and Practices of Alcoholics Anonymous by Steve K.”