Watch any A.A. of six months working with a Twelfth Step prospect. If the newcomer says, “To the devil with you,” the twelfth-stepper only smiles and finds another alcoholic to help. He doesn’t feel frustrated or rejected. If this next drunk responds, and in turn starts to give love and attention to other sufferers, yetContinue reading “Giving Without Demand – As Bill Sees It #69”
Category Archives: Demand
Dangers of Dogma – Bill W July 1965
Below are some powerful paragraphs from a July 1965 Grapevine article written by Bill W. This article was entitled ‘Responsibility Is Our Theme’. I find it a useful warning when I think I’ve found something that demands something from others. It also a warning of how difficult willingness to grow is when I find myselfContinue reading “Dangers of Dogma – Bill W July 1965”
Accepting Imperfection In Ourselves & Others – Bill W Letter with Anonymous Comments from ‘Friends of Bill’
Jim A. found this interesting article that perhaps can be thought of as identifying how we may not only expect perfection from ourselves but project it and impose it on others. One of the topics we’ve been discussing about emotional sobriety is our tendency to create unrealistic expectations of ourselves and others. When we findContinue reading “Accepting Imperfection In Ourselves & Others – Bill W Letter with Anonymous Comments from ‘Friends of Bill’”
A New Take On Acceptance – Grapevine Article January 2002 by Don P.
My daughter, Elena was at the tender age of five and a half when her mom and I started attending AA and Al-Anon meetings. Because we weren’t able to afford child-sitters when we both attended the same meeting, Elena came along and sat off to the side with her coloring books and sketch pads. AndContinue reading “A New Take On Acceptance – Grapevine Article January 2002 by Don P.”
4th Step Fear Inventory – Practice These Principles by Ray A.
Healthy and Unhealthy Fear Overcoming our fear is not always a good thing. We ought to have feared drinking, suggests the Big Book, for we knew how much suffering and humiliation it had wrought. But we did not. We lacked “the kind of defense that keeps one from putting his hand on a hot stove”Continue reading “4th Step Fear Inventory – Practice These Principles by Ray A.”
Character Building – Daily Reflection April 2nd
Character Building Demand made upon other people for too much attention, protection , and love can only invite domination or revulsion…TWELVE STEPS&TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 44 When I uncovered my need for approval in the Fourth Step, I didn’t think it should rank as a character defect. I wanted to think of it more as anContinue reading “Character Building – Daily Reflection April 2nd”
Self-centered fear, character defects and using our 4th step inventory to ”commence to outgrow fear”
Let’s use a combination of AA literature to better understand this important topic as we examine some key questions What is the root of our problems ? (Big Book pg 62) Whatever our protestations, are not most of us concerned with ourselves, our resentments, or our self-pity? Selfishness – self-centeredness! That, we think, is theContinue reading “Self-centered fear, character defects and using our 4th step inventory to ”commence to outgrow fear””
Emotional Sobriety – As Bill Sees It # 288
If we examine every disturbance we have, great or small, we will find at the root of it some unhealthy dependency and its consequent unhealthy demand. Let us, with God’s help, continually surrender these hobbling liabilities. Then we can be set free to live and love; we may then be able to twelfth-step ourselves, asContinue reading “Emotional Sobriety – As Bill Sees It # 288”
When Our Instincts Tyrannize Us – Twelve & Twelve / Step 4 pg 42
Creation gave us instincts for a purpose. Without them we wouldn’t be complete human beings. If men and women didn’t exert themselves to be secure in their persons, made no effort to harvest food or construct shelter, there would be no survival. If they didn’t reproduce, the earth wouldn’t be populated. If there were noContinue reading “When Our Instincts Tyrannize Us – Twelve & Twelve / Step 4 pg 42”
Facing Criticism – As Bill Sees It #56
Sometimes, we register surprise, shock, and anger when people find fault with A.A. We are apt to be disturbed to such an extent that wecannot benefit by constructive criticism. This sort of resentment makes no friends and achieves no constructive purpose. Certainly, this is an area in which we can improve. << << << >>Continue reading “Facing Criticism – As Bill Sees It #56”
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