Try harder. Do better. Be perfect. These messages are tricks that people have played on us. No matter how hard we try, we think we have to do better. Perfection always eludes us. Messages of perfectionism are tricks because we can never achieve that goal. We cannot feel good about ourselves or what we haveContinue reading “Letting Go Of Old Beliefs – The Language Of Letting Go June 23rd By Melody Beattie”
Category Archives: Step 3
Practicing Surrender – Extract From Progloue/Epilogue Of Surrender To Love By David Benner
How does surrender address the fundamental reality of ‘lack of power, that was our dilemma’ (BB p.45) ? What is the dynamic between the surrender of offering myself or abandoning myself and finding who I really am … my true self … distinguishing the true from the false ? Is it possible that to “thineContinue reading “Practicing Surrender – Extract From Progloue/Epilogue Of Surrender To Love By David Benner”
You Are Accepted – Finding Our Way Home In An Age Of Anxiety June 2nd Daily Meditation By Henri Nouwen
Henri Nouwen is thought of as one of the greatest spiritual teachers and authors of the 20th century. I found this short extract from his book ‘Finding Our Way Home In An Age Of Anxiety’ to be relevant to the Toxic Shame and Emotional Sobriety sections of our website. I also believe the 3rd step and 7thContinue reading “You Are Accepted – Finding Our Way Home In An Age Of Anxiety June 2nd Daily Meditation By Henri Nouwen”
Emotional Sobriety And Relationships Video By Dr. Allen Berger
What does emotional sobriety look like in our relationships ? Here are a few ideas that Dr. Berger has helped me to discover and begin to work on: The video is about 30 minutes and is packed full of meaningful insights from Dr. Berger’s very recent talk in 2026. Allen Berger is a leader inContinue reading “Emotional Sobriety And Relationships Video By Dr. Allen Berger”
Finding True Agency & Empowerment ‘With God’ – April 24th 2026 Reflection By Bruce M.
I’ll begin with a couple of reminders. First, progress not perfection … that true agency is a North Star I set my compass toward not a possession I’m expecting to acquire or achieve … I navigate with this aspiration not delude myself that it’s mine. Second, the Twelve & Twelve assertion “the more we becomeContinue reading “Finding True Agency & Empowerment ‘With God’ – April 24th 2026 Reflection By Bruce M.”
Self-Pity: A Barrier to Lasting Sobriety – A.A. District 2 Alabama June 2024 By Anonymous
Self-pity is one of the most insidious obstacles to lasting sobriety. Both Dr. Bob Smith and Bill Wilson, the co-founders of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), frequently discussed the detrimental effects of self-pity on alcoholics. In the pages of the Big Book, “Dr. Bob and the Good Oldtimers,” and various articles in the Grapevine, they highlighted howContinue reading “Self-Pity: A Barrier to Lasting Sobriety – A.A. District 2 Alabama June 2024 By Anonymous”
Fear Of Financial Insecurity Will Leave Us – Twelve & Twelve Pages 120 – 122
One of the 9th step promises can be especially elusive for many of us …”fear of economic insecurity will leave us”. I believe the Twelve & Twelve actually goes into a very useful review about how this fear leaves us. It’s important to note that the promise isn’t that economic insecurity leaves us but thatContinue reading “Fear Of Financial Insecurity Will Leave Us – Twelve & Twelve Pages 120 – 122”
Turning It Over and Acceptance – Buddhism And The Twelve Steps March 1st & 2nd Reflections By Kevin Griffin
March 1 “Turning it over” Step Three brings us into the heart of the program and gives us a new set of challenges. To begin, there is a question of what it means to “turn our lives over,” whether to God or anything else. What many people find when confronting this Step for the firstContinue reading “Turning It Over and Acceptance – Buddhism And The Twelve Steps March 1st & 2nd Reflections By Kevin Griffin”
Control – Buddhism and the Twelve Steps February 16th Reflection By Kevin G
Addiction is essentially a strategy to control how we feel. We want to be happy or high or just not in pain all the time, so we keep drinking, smoking, popping, eating, gambling, or otherwise finding ways to alter our consciousness to feel the way we want. This habit of control carries over into otherContinue reading “Control – Buddhism and the Twelve Steps February 16th Reflection By Kevin G”
Pain, Resistance & Suffering – Suffer Like A Marine By Arthur Brooks
His Holiness the Dalai Lama often talks to me about pain and suffering, but he doesn’t use the terms interchangeably. On the contrary, he teaches that they exist together in the following way: Suffering = pain x resistance Pain can be physical or mental, and happens to you because of an outside stimulus—you slam your hand inContinue reading “Pain, Resistance & Suffering – Suffer Like A Marine By Arthur Brooks”