Sometimes I would be forced to look at situations where I was doing badly. Right away, the search for excuses would become frantic. “These,” I would exclaim, “are really a good man’s faults.” When that pet gadget broke apart, I would think, “Well, if those people would only treat me right, I wouldn’t have toContinue reading “When Conflict Mounts – As Bill Sees It #289”
Category Archives: Ego
The Ego And Shame; A Barrier To Humility – 12 Step Philosophy By Steve K.
In the book ‘For God’s Sake’ Alan Budge writes… “Recovery isn’t about stopping drinking (or stopping whatever). It’s about investigating the ways of the ego, and trying to change on the basis of that knowledge. It’s about surrender. For me, the whole spiritual deal is based on the idea that I’m not in charge, there is somethingContinue reading “The Ego And Shame; A Barrier To Humility – 12 Step Philosophy By Steve K.”
False Pride & Self Centered Fear – Experience The Big Book By Dr. Michael H.
Clancy I., in one of his talks, stated that false pride is a killer for alcoholics. He defined false pride as a compensation for feeling “less than”. That statement defined my life. From early childhood, I was constantly seeking approval through actions or achievements. Just being “Michael” wasn’t good enough. I never felt OK.Continue reading “False Pride & Self Centered Fear – Experience The Big Book By Dr. Michael H.”
The Fine Art Of Alibis – As Bill Sees It #279
The majority of A.A. members have suffered severely from self-justification during their drinking days. For most of us, self-justification was the maker of excuses for drinking and for all kinds of crazy and damaging conduct. We had made the invention of alibis a fine art. We had to drink because times were hard or timesContinue reading “The Fine Art Of Alibis – As Bill Sees It #279”
Toxic Shame, Character Defects & Out Of Proportion Reactions
A few weeks ago, we read the short reflection entitled ‘The Trance Of Unworthiness’. That reading is a poignant reminder of how many of us lose proportion and consciousness when we’re triggered and believe we’re under attack by this toxic shame and painful experience of our unworthiness. We seem to shut down and enter intoContinue reading “Toxic Shame, Character Defects & Out Of Proportion Reactions”
Shame And The Meaning Of Being Human – Shame & Guilt By Ernest Kurtz
AA teaches that there is a wholeness in limitation. This understanding echoes an ancient tradition of wisdom, which saw being human as being caught in the middle, containing a contradiction. To be human, according to this tradition, means to sustain the tension of always being pulled in two opposite directions: to be more than humanContinue reading “Shame And The Meaning Of Being Human – Shame & Guilt By Ernest Kurtz”
Perception – Any Way You Slice It – Grapevine Article January 2024 By Claire S.
When I was about 6 years old, I distinctly remember placing my sandwich order with my mom and specifically asking for the jelly to be on the bottom and peanut butter on the top. While I closely supervised her preparation, I was horrified to see she hadn’t followed my directions, not even a little, andContinue reading “Perception – Any Way You Slice It – Grapevine Article January 2024 By Claire S.”
Differentiating Toxic Shame From Healthy Guilt – Brene Brown
Brene has spent the past two decades studying courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy. She’s the author of six #1 New York Times bestsellers and a research professor at the University of Houston, where she holds the Huffington Foundation Endowed Chair. She’s also got over 25 years of sobriety from her alcoholism. Here’s some further insights from theContinue reading “Differentiating Toxic Shame From Healthy Guilt – Brene Brown”
What Is Toxic Shame – Healing The Shame That Binds You By John Bradshaw
John Bradshaw was one of the most influential writers on emotional health in the twentieth century as selected by his fellow mental health professionals. He was also an alcoholic in recovery. His areas of expertise include addiction, co-dependency , trauma, emotional instability , and abuse. This extract is the preface to the original edition ofContinue reading “What Is Toxic Shame – Healing The Shame That Binds You By John Bradshaw”
An Alcoholic and a Child of God – Grapevine Article July 1995 By Rick D.
STEP 7: Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings “You ought to be ashamed of yourself.” This would have been a perfect epitaph for my headstone if my drinking had killed me before I got to AA. It was something I was constantly told; it was a feeling about myself that, although I didn’t likeContinue reading “An Alcoholic and a Child of God – Grapevine Article July 1995 By Rick D.”