I’ve loved this poem for many, many years. The phrase ‘your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding’ is a powerful reframe of the value of accepting pain and thus enabling this movement from being a pain killer to becoming a pain healer. I believe being stuck as a ‘pain killer’ is a root to my alcoholism and addiction. As the extended version of the Serenity Prayer says “accepting hardship as a pathway to peace’ is fundamental to my serenity and recovery. At the end of this poem, I explore experience avoidance and how what I resist persists and grows … thus manufacturing misery (BB p.133). This poem is now added to the growing Recovery Poems section of this website – Bruce M.
And a woman spoke, saying, ‘Tell us of Pain.’
And he said:
Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.
Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.
And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy;
And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields.
And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.
Much of your pain is self-chosen.
It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.
Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquillity:
For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen,
And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears.
Experiential avoidance (EA) has been broadly defined as attempts to avoid thoughts, feelings, memories, physical sensations, and other internal experiences – even when doing so creates harm in the long run. It is not negative thoughts, emotions, and sensations that are problematic, but how one responds to them that can cause difficulties. The ancient Stoic philosopher Epictetus in the 2nd century described this realization as ‘we are not disturbed by things, but by the view which we take of them’. I’ve also added this article to the website sections of emotional sobriety , toxic shame and healing our Jekyll/Hyde divided self. Below are links to articles that may be helpful in further exploring this topic – Bruce M.
Accepting The Hardship Of Anxiety As The Pathway To Peace
What We Resist Persists; Acceptance And Willingness
Reclaiming the Self: 12-Steps, a Higher Power, and Inner Healing