My alcoholism and its personal and collateral damage evoke a lot of emotions. And yet, as I work the program and move from the bedevilments of my addiction(s) (BB p.52) to the ‘new freedom’ (BBp.84) of recovery, I have an experience of acceptance as well as conscious contact and spiritual fitness from a God of my understanding. The Big Book helps us recognize this spiritual fitness as a ‘position of neutrality’ where our reliance on God has enabled us to have a trust that we can be safe and protected by this Power greater than ourselves with whatever the winds of our circumstance blow our way. In ‘How It Works’ (BB p.59) we are encouraged to ask for “His protection and care with complete abandon” and the 3rd step is clear that we decide to ‘move toward’ turning our wills and lives over to the ‘care’of a God of our understanding or perhaps we could also say a God of our experience as we take the actions outlined in Steps 4 through 9.
In the 10th step after we have completed our 9th step amends, the Big Book describes this ‘position of neutrality’ this way on pages 84/85:
“We have entered the world of the Spirit. Our next function is to grow in understanding and effectiveness. This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for our lifetime. Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them. We discuss them with someone immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help. Love and tolerance of others is our code. And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone – even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality – safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is our experience. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.”
I thought this might be a useful way to prepare us for the powerful message of this talk with the well known Buddhist teacher and author Pema Chödrön as she discusses how we can relate differently to what we may quickly judge to be unwanted … our problems, pain, insecurity, and uncertainty. I like to think of this ‘position of neutrality’ as an ‘unsuspected inner resource’(BB p.567) , a newfound Friend (BBp.13) … how that with pause the ‘best in me’ can learn to lead the ‘rest in me’. And so, I hope this powerful interview can help you in your own spiritual fitness and healing. – Bruce M.
Interview Summary & Components
What do you do when you feel anxious or insecure? Many of us try to push the feeling away, or we ruminate on it, or try to solve it, or avoid the thought altogether. But what would happen if we did the exact opposite?
The Buddhist nun and teacher Pema Chödrön is the author of many beloved books, including “When Things Fall Apart,” “Welcoming the Unwelcome” and — my personal favorite — “Comfortable With Uncertainty.” And she has a way of inviting people to befriend the parts of life that typically induce dread — from uncertainty and suffering to loss and discomfort. And she argues that the process of sitting with these experiences and emotions actually releases their power over us. In a time as chaotic and tumultuous as ours, she has so much practical wisdom to share.
In this conversation, she shares what it looks like to actually let go of difficult emotions, the art of “collaborating with reality” when things don’t go as expected, and how to awaken yourself to the “nowness” of life.
0:00 Intro
2:25 How to relate with discomfort
5:24 Befriending anxiety
10:20 Locating discomfort in the body
15:48 Meditation without fixing
18:01 Lean into the sharp points
21:06 Collaborating With Reality
24:06 Pain vs. suffering
32:13 Butterflies without drama
33:59 Beyond the comfort zone
35:39 Meditation
37:57 Boredom
43:37 Life without devices
53:58 The paradox
1:08:11 Nowness
1:13:34 Book recommendations
Read the full transcript here: https://www.nytimes.co…
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You can find transcripts (posted midday) and more episodes of “The Ezra Klein Show” at nytimes.com/ezra-klein-podcast. Book recommendations from all our guests are listed at https://www.nytimes.co…