One of the great diseases of our culture is self-loathing. Many of us internalize an “inner critic” who is never satisfied with our behavior, our accomplishments, or even our thoughts and feelings. This negative self-belief is behind the crippling depression and anxiety that permeate Western society.
Mindful self-compassion is an antidote to this disease. Mindful self-compassion starts with the premise that someone who is in pain deserves care and compassion, not harsh judgment. It suggests that we look upon ourselves as someone else might, someone who cares about us. The Buddhist teaching can help here, because it shows us that no individual is unique, that we all share the same human traits. So, with mindful self-compassion we take an objective stance toward this person who is suffering. And how do we respond to someone who is suffering? Hopefully, we offer them compassion.
We see how our thoughts are unkind and judgmental, and we try to take a different view. Is there another way to think about yourself? What would a kind thought be? A non-judgmental one?
We see how our behavior can cause us harm, whether through addictive actions, or things like overwork that result from our negative self-view. Even things like diet, rest, and exercise can be expressions of either kindness or harmfulness toward ourselves.
Today, ask yourself, how would a friend treat you? What might they say to you? What might they do to help you? Can you start to treat yourself more like a friend and less like an enemy?
Wow. Thanks for bringing this to our attention, Bruce. I had no idea that Kevin has been making connections between Buddhist Mindfulness practices and AA for 20 years. Good to know. This is in great alignment with how we approach our practice in our monthly meditation meetings. I may use him in a future meditation text notice.