What You Practice Gets Stronger – Radical Compassion Extract From Chapter 2 By Tara Brach

I like to tell students the story of a man who went to a mindfulness retreat because his therapist said he’d feel better if he learned to meditate. The retreat turned out to be a real roller coaster. Yes, there were moments of calm, but he also plunged deeply into fear, anger, and grief. The next time he saw his therapist, he told him he’d suffered horribly. “How could you have promised I’d feel better?” Nodding sagely, the therapist replied, “You are feeling better . . . you’re feeling your fear better, feeling your anger better, feeling your grief better!”

This always gets a laugh of recognition. Mindfulness meditation trains us to wake up out of distracting thoughts and make the U-turn, bringing a full, embodied attention to our moment-to-moment experience. We inevitably encounter everything we’ve been avoiding—the loneliness, hurts, and fears. And yet if we practice regularly, we discover that we can maintain a balanced, openhearted presence in the midst of the storm.

Thanks to current understandings of neuroplasticity, we now know that our brains can change throughout our lives. This means that even the most deeply rooted and harmful habits can be deconditioned. The phrase that sums this up is this: “Neurons that fire together, wire together.” Our habits are sustained by repeating patterns of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that have created and reinforced neural networks in our brain. By changing our patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving, we can change these neural networks.

Many research studies have shown that mindfulness directly and positively impacts the structure and function of the brain. If we go into trance when we encounter stress—rushing around, worrying, judging—we reinforce the fear-based ruts in our mind. If instead we become mindful in times of stress, learning to pause and to Recognize and Allow our experience, something different is possible. Instead of reacting from our passing wants and fears, we can respond to our circumstances from a deeper intelligence, creativity, and care. This creates new patterning, new neural pathways in the brain that correlate with true well-being and peace.

The more you say yes to experience, the more the openness and presence of that “yes” will be embodied in living cells and shape your entire life experience.