Below is an excellent 30 minute video that explores how perfectionism amplifies self hatred. The video also explores how we can learn to respond differently to the ‘should monster’ of our idealized false self we’ve created to be loved, accepted and have a sense of belonging. And, in this new response, we learn how toContinue reading “Perfectionism – Seeing & Responding With Emotional Sobriety Video By Allen Berger”
Category Archives: Expectations
FEAR (Face Everything And Recover) – Touchstones January 28th Reflection
To perceive is to suffer. — Aristotle In this program, we have given up our compulsive escapes from life. Our escapes may have been through dependent relationships with others, or with money, sex, food, drugs, work, or emotional binges. But now we are learning to live without them, and this has brought us in touch withContinue reading “FEAR (Face Everything And Recover) – Touchstones January 28th Reflection”
Bedevilments Are Transformed Into Promises – Big Book Awakening By Dan Sherman
On page 52 of the Big Book, we have a description of what has come to be known as the ‘bedevilments’. The bedevilments are fundamental life problems many of us were unable to solve in our active addiction and perhaps in our dry drunk state of abstinence without the practice of the Twelve Steps. DanContinue reading “Bedevilments Are Transformed Into Promises – Big Book Awakening By Dan Sherman”
Rigorous Honesty & Vulnerability In Accepting Life As It Is – Consolations By David Whyte
I found this short reflection on ‘Honesty’ by the outstanding poet and author David Whyte in his book Consolations very useful in helping understand the challenge of rigorous honesty which ‘How It Works’(BB p.58) identifies as a ‘demand’ for a sustainable recovery. His reflection also helps to connect us to the experience of the powerlessness, uncertainty andContinue reading “Rigorous Honesty & Vulnerability In Accepting Life As It Is – Consolations By David Whyte”
Forgiveness And The Amends Process – A Spiritual Principle A Day January 12th
Many of us want to skip ahead to Step Nine and apologize to those we’ve hurt in hopes of receiving their forgiveness. We desperately want to shed some of our guilt and shame. We may be convinced that getting others to forgive us would provide a shortcut to feeling better about ourselves. We’re reminded thatContinue reading “Forgiveness And The Amends Process – A Spiritual Principle A Day January 12th”
Relational Sponsorship – 12 Step Philosophy By Steve K
In the context of 12 Step recovery “relational sponsorship” is an ongoing recovery-based relationship that supports humility, accountability, and spiritual discernment through honest dialogue rather than authority or instruction. It’s a form a sponsorship that sometimes follows an initial introduction to the 12 Steps. It’s not written anywhere within the literature of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA)Continue reading “Relational Sponsorship – 12 Step Philosophy By Steve K”
If You Spot It You Got It – How We Distort Reality With The ‘Blind Spot’ Of Our Projections
This article is a good follow up to a post I entitled ‘Changing The Way We See’. The articles ‘Revolutionary! How Step 10 Suggests A Novel Response Ability When We’re Disturbed’ as well as ‘Make A U-Turn As We Seek To Understand Our Part(s) In A Disturbance’ are also quite relevant to this topic ofContinue reading “If You Spot It You Got It – How We Distort Reality With The ‘Blind Spot’ Of Our Projections”
What a Sponsor Is and Is Not – Grapevine Article December 2004 By Hilary T.
The opportunity to help another alcoholic work the Steps and live in the solution keeps me in the heart of what recovery is all about. It has helped me to feel a “part of”–something I had tried to do for years. But it turned out to be as simple as sharing my experience, strength, andContinue reading “What a Sponsor Is and Is Not – Grapevine Article December 2004 By Hilary T.”
Living With Our Conscience – A Spiritual Principle A Day December 19th
“In the end, we are the ones who must live with our conscience. In order to do so comfortably, we must decide what is, and what is not, morally acceptable in our lives.” It Works, Step Ten Page 365 There’s some irony in the fact that self-centeredness can make it difficult to stay in ourContinue reading “Living With Our Conscience – A Spiritual Principle A Day December 19th”
Toward Maturity – As Bill Sees It #244
Many oldsters who have put our A.A. “booze cure” to severe but successful tests still find they often lack emotional sobriety. To attain this, we must develop real maturity and balance (which is to say, humility) in our relations with ourselves, with our fellows, and with God. *************** Let A.A. never be a closed corporation;Continue reading “Toward Maturity – As Bill Sees It #244”