In our group meditation, we refer to mindfulness as this ‘wise companion’ with our goal not being to become great meditators but rather to experience this Presence in every aspect of our lives.
How do we come to recognize and know this wise companion? Certainly through prayer and meditation but this article explores another path of written dialogues. One of our most important tools is to pause and accept that our first voice may often come from a place of fear and uncertainty as we learn to recognize and listen to our second voice.
I found this very short video very helpful in exploring using written dialogue to talk with what Dr. Allen Berger describes as ‘the best in me’ to lead ‘the rest of me’… the ‘unsuspected inner resource’ (BB p.567) , the ‘position of neutrality’ (BB p.85) , the ‘newfound Friend’ (BB p.13) … all ways of describing this ‘wise companion’ as a Power greater than ourselves that can restore us to sanity.
I also find the simplicity of Chuck C’s visual below where he describes our problem as conscious separation and the solution as conscious connection to be very helpful in why dialogue might be useful. You can explore Chuck C’s insights more in the article ‘Isolation’ and ‘What’s My Business’.
Robert Falconer gave a very recent talk about his book ‘Spirit’ and the Twelve Steps in a very interesting global recovery group called ‘Friendly Circle Berlin’.
His book shares core ideas of his dialogue process which he has been doing now for many years. Here’s the first dialogue he did that he mentions in the short video linked below.
This short was extracted from an hour long talk that can also be accessed here – Bruce M.
Here is the first dialogue:
Bob: Good morning, Spirit. Thanks for showing up. Will you show up more?
Spirit: Not right away — you block me. There are cracks opening. You have a hard time accepting love, being loved. You have blocked all that. I am always here.
Bob: Can you help me receive more?
Spirit: I am working with you always.
Bob: How can I help this?
Spirit: Let me in. I’m knocking on your door. Let me in.
Bob: How?
Spirit: Surrender, let go, unlock, welcome. Less work. Stop manipulating others, this is unlove. Trust. I know that this is so hard for you. Trust me.
Bob: Help me trust you.
Spirit: OK. Look and you shall see. You are getting what you need. It shows up for you. Open to what is offered. I do love you.
Bob: I’ll do my best.
Spirit: Don’t overwork it. No control. Out of your control. Control prevents guidance; it keeps me out. It is a tiny reward when you could have real treasures.
Bob: A woman? A partner? I so want one.
Spirit: Yes, it will happen. There is much for you to learn as you look for one. The desperation and hugeness of this need determines your mood most of the time. You lose orientation. Love the child who does this within you. Do not turn it over to anyone else’s care. When you no longer need a partner, then you will be given one. You will be given way more than you can imagine or dream of now. Work on the needy child. Not on manipulating a stranger. When you feel the need and desperate longing, turn toward the hurt child in you, not to the woman who triggers the child’s hope.
Bob: Thanks. Should I change my daily practice?
Spirit: It’s okay, not critical. Can you get looser, more relaxed, open, receptive? Ready for the new; ready for surprise? Can you learn to enjoy surprise?
Bob: Should I write more books?
Spirit: Yes yes yes.
Bob: Which one next?
Spirit: Both of the ones you’re thinking of. You are more of a writer than a therapist. Write first, then teach maybe. Love love love love. Allow yourself to be loved. You have no idea how hard this really is. How mightily you resist my love and love in general.
Bob: Thanks, Spirit. Thanks.
This was the modest beginning. I have reproduced this short one verbatim so you could have a sense of what they are actually like. The rest of this volume is made up of brief summaries of the subsequent dialogues. Somehow in these words, I felt a quality of contact that I had been longing for. Spirit has a sense of humor, but it’s never mean. One morning I asked plaintively, “Will you talk with me today, Spirit? He replied, “Will you listen?”
Often Spirit points out things I would rather not see about myself, but he always does it with kindness and love. Early on, I asked him if we are surrounded by many spirits that we cannot see. He said yes. A great number of them are smarter than you. Some are good and some are bad. This was such an unwelcome message that he has had to repeat it to me many times.
Writing these dialogues has become a treasured part of my inner life. Spirit told me to summarize these volumes and to publish them. I also keep a regular journal, recording and describing the events of my life and the things I’m learning. I keep these dialogues totally separate; I record them in separate books. This feels like a small way to be respectful of what I am being given.”