If I’m in control, I’m not powerless. If I’m not powerless, my life is not unmanageable; I am only refusing to manage it. The error here is to assume that life’s unmanageability stems from our powerlessness. On the contrary, the unmanageability of our lives is not caused by powerlessness; powerlessness is a symptom of life’s unmanageability. Life in and of itself is unmanageable. Whether we have an addiction or not, life is not ours to control. While it may be true (and I think it is true) that our present actions influence our future, the future is going to happen in one form or another no matter what we say or do, or don’t say and do. Life just happens.
At its deepest, Step One is not saying we are powerless over some things and powerful over others. It is saying we are powerless over life itself. Life is not something we control or manage. Life is something that happens to us, in us, and through us. We respond to what life brings; we do not control what it brings.
Recognizing life’s fundamental unmanageability can lead either to despair or freedom. It leads to despair if we continue to cling to the notion that life should be manageable, that we should be in control. With this in mind we set out to grab the power needed to manage life and bend it to our will. There is no amount of power that can do this, and in the end we are exhausted, beaten, and apt to assume that life is futile, and all efforts to make our lives successful, meaningful, or joyous are a waste of time.
Recognizing life’s fundamental unmanageability leads to freedom if we realize that our inability to control life is not the same as having no way to meaningfully navigate it. Just because I can’t control the sea doesn’t mean I can’t learn how to swim in it. Just because I can’t manage the wind doesn’t mean I can’t tap into its power. Just because I can’t manage my life doesn’t mean I can’t live it justly and with compassion. Manageability and control are beyond me, but living wisely and well are not.
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