Boredom, depression, restlessness, feeling stuck are all realities that we will face if we are to live sober. These two short Grapevine articles below help us define more clearly the problem and then to begin to explore effective ways to respond to these uncomfortable feelings. These articles are good reminders of what the Big Book tells us on page 85 …”It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe. We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition.”
Boredom Ambushes the Unwary – Grapevine Article April 1950 by J.F.
PAGING Solomon with all his wisdom!
What makes some of us take that first drink? We can get as many answers to that perennial question as there are unfortunate slipees.
It has been my experience that boredom sets an emotional trap for all of us. The eager beaver in AA, full of inspirational fire and fervor, very often gets fed-up and suffers a corresponding let-down. The post-honeymoon period is another dangerous time for many of us. And what about those who have anywhere from one to 15 years of uninterrupted sobriety? Boredom, and its by-products of inertia and restlessness, lurks in wait for them, too.
No one–but no one–is completely immune to periodic attacks of this devastating state of mind. It generally waits until we have lulled ourselves into a feeling of security. And then it strikes!
Boredom is an insidious, creeping mental paralysis that can depress all mankind, wet or dry.
It’s a constant and definite menace to every AA and it can only be handled intelligently and effectively at the beginning of each attack. Learn how to detect the signs in yourself–and do something about it right away! Don’t wait until you’re in the middle of it. An ounce of prevention is always worth a pound of cure to the alcoholic.
Personally, it is absolutely necessary for me to be on guard against it in all its many and diverse forms.
I try to remember that even though I’m a dry alcoholic, and without a slip, I am a human being first. And as such, I’m subject to all the emotionally destructive things that arise to plague men and women, whether they drink or not.
Simply being sober doesn’t give me protection against boredom and its inseparable companion, mental depression. My protection can only come from knowing myself and my temperament, and what might be harmful to me and my sobriety. And doing something about it before it’s too late.
This was my pattern of boredom at one time.
First, I’d become fed-up with my family and friends. Next, with my job. Finally, AA and the people in it would start to rub me the wrong way and life in general attained a bilious hue.
The people I usually liked to be with suddenly became unbearably stupid. I wondered how my family could be so silly and selfish and my business associates act like jackasses. AA meetings were all monotonously alike, gathering places for self-important people, particularly the speakers. Life was dull–life was meaningless–and sobriety an onerous and depressing way of finding happiness.
When boredom really laid its constricting hands on me, everything was an effort. Trifles became mountainous obstacles. I didn’t speak to people; I grunted or snarled. My nose was out of joint about everything. Nothing pleased me and everything displeased me. Loneliness and despair were my existence.
I have a fairly steady hand now–but there were times in the past when I couldn’t lift a cup or fork. My clothing is pressed and clean–but it wasn’t that way before. My days and nights are free of dread–but when I drank, they were filled with despair and, sometimes, hallucinations.
I’m not kidding myself. This hand of mine will shake again. My clothing will be filthy once more. And many other things which happened to me in the past will torture me again–if I’m fool enough to become bored.
History tells us that Solomon was a smart apple. But even he, with all his wisdom, wouldn’t be able to prevent a frequently or chronically bored alcoholic from being a sucker for that first drink.
Usefully Whole – Grapevine Article December 2009 by Mark S.
I believe there is a correlation between my peace of mind and my efforts at Step Twelve. If peace and serenity are what I am seeking, what is it I am willing to do? The destruction of self comes at a price. I have to participate in my own recovery through prayer, through self-sacrifice and through service to others. Perhaps the heart of Step Twelve is the word “tried.” For nearly each problem presented in the Big Book, a solution is also given. Trust God. Clean house. Help others. These are our mantras. Repeatedly in my sobriety, when I have tried to carry the message of AA to another suffering alcoholic, sober or drunk, I have been amazingly lifted up. Perhaps it is because I am aligning myself with a mission of service or purpose, as outlined by those who came before me. Early on in my sobriety, I was sponsored into service. What was made clear to me was that my wanting to do what was being asked was not required. These actions of AA saved me numerous times when the demons of my mind began to attack me, to tear me down and keep me small.
When I came into the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous, I did not have much to give and less of anything anyone wanted. Rotten was going out and rotten was coming back. The seeds I was sowing were those of selfishness, resentment, fear and dishonesty. My thoughts were either on yesterday, which often led to “pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization,” or tomorrow, which often meant fear. One analogy I connected with early on in sobriety was that of the orange. What comes out of an orange when we squeeze it? Why, orange juice, of course. And the reason orange juice comes out is because that is what is inside. It does not matter if I smash it with my hands or a hammer, squeeze it into a vise, cut it open with a knife, or drive over it with my car–orange juice comes out because that is what is inside. And so it is with me. If I am reacting with fear, selfishness, resentment and dishonesty, it is because that is what is inside me. It has nothing to do with what is outside of me, and everything to do with what is inside of me. Amazingly, as I tried to practice the principles of our program, what began to flow from me were courage, other-centeredness, love and honesty. Ultimately, I began to feel usefully whole, as is promised. Our twelfth suggestion is all about showing up. We get to try to carry this message with another alcoholic. We get the “privilege” of working with others. For me, it meant the difference between a good life and a great life.