Room In My Heart – Grapevine Article November 2020 By Candace T

Today I decided to write out my thoughts and share them with someone I have learned to trust. That’s how we build bridges of trust and understanding

I’ve heard it said that there’s no loneliness like that of alcoholic isolation. I believe it. The shadow of this disease has been with me as long as I can remember.

As a child, broken promises and unmet expectations caused distrust to grow inside me in place of trust. I built a dark room in my heart. I filled it with every disappointment. I piled high the resentments and nurtured them. I thought no one knew, understood or even cared. I was wrong.

There’s a group of people who care, a recovery community called Alcoholics Anonymous that knows and understands me.

I just attended a powerful AA meeting and I didn’t share what was in my heart. While walking home, I felt the familiar pain of loneliness come over me. It’s been a while since I thought about drinking to take away this type of pain. The program and the Step work have given me new tools to integrate truth into my life. I’m not so alone anymore.

So today I decided to write out my thoughts and share them with someone I have learned to trust. I have heard that intimacy is the sharing of life experiences. That’s what we do at our AA meetings. That’s how we build bridges of trust and understanding.

Just for today, the pain of loneliness brought me back to pick up a pen and write. The pain is gone now. Peace has once again returned. Once again, I learn to trust the process.

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