On page 552 of the Big Book, we find this provocative assertion “The only real freedom a human being can ever know is doing what you ought to do because you want to do it.” For me , my often unconscious, unquestioned belief is in freedom through my self will and the delusion that “IContinue reading “Step 3 From Right Dependence We Gain True Freedom – Practice These Principles By Ray A”
Category Archives: Boundaries
Boundaries & Healthy Tolerance – Language Of Letting Go By Melody Beattie December 3rd
Many of us are skilled at denying and discounting what hurts us. We may endure a particular situation, telling ourselves repeatedly it’s not that bad; we shouldn’t be so demanding; it’ll change any day; we should be able to live with it; it doesn’t annoy us; the other person didn’t really mean it; it doesn’tContinue reading “Boundaries & Healthy Tolerance – Language Of Letting Go By Melody Beattie December 3rd”
Resentment – Atlas Of The Heart By Brené Brown
Understanding resentment—how it works in my life, where it comes from, and how I stay out of it—has been one of my lifelong struggles. This is not something that’s easy for me to share with you, because, on top of struggling with resentment, I’m judgmental toward my own resentment. Let me explain. We know fromContinue reading “Resentment – Atlas Of The Heart By Brené Brown”
Conscience And Step Ten – Spiritual Principle A Day October 24th
“We need to stay in tune with the voice of our conscience and listen to what it’s telling us. When we get a nagging feeling that something isn’t quite right, we should pay attention to it.” It Works, Step Ten Our days of justifying our own bad behavior are mostly behind us. Sure, we stillContinue reading “Conscience And Step Ten – Spiritual Principle A Day October 24th”
Boundaries – The Atlas Of The Heart By Brené Brown
Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously – Prentis Hemphill Boundaries are a prerequisite for compassion and empathy. We can’t connect with someone unless we’re clear about where we end and they begin. If there’s no autonomy between people, then there’s no compassion or empathy, just enmeshment. This hasContinue reading “Boundaries – The Atlas Of The Heart By Brené Brown”
False Pride & Self Centered Fear – Experience The Big Book By Dr. Michael H.
Clancy I., in one of his talks, stated that false pride is a killer for alcoholics. He defined false pride as a compensation for feeling “less than”. That statement defined my life. From early childhood, I was constantly seeking approval through actions or achievements. Just being “Michael” wasn’t good enough. I never felt OK.Continue reading “False Pride & Self Centered Fear – Experience The Big Book By Dr. Michael H.”
The Fine Art Of Alibis – As Bill Sees It #279
The majority of A.A. members have suffered severely from self-justification during their drinking days. For most of us, self-justification was the maker of excuses for drinking and for all kinds of crazy and damaging conduct. We had made the invention of alibis a fine art. We had to drink because times were hard or timesContinue reading “The Fine Art Of Alibis – As Bill Sees It #279”
Toxic Shame, Character Defects & Out Of Proportion Reactions
A few weeks ago, we read the short reflection entitled ‘The Trance Of Unworthiness’. That reading is a poignant reminder of how many of us lose proportion and consciousness when we’re triggered and believe we’re under attack by this toxic shame and painful experience of our unworthiness. We seem to shut down and enter intoContinue reading “Toxic Shame, Character Defects & Out Of Proportion Reactions”
Shame And The Meaning Of Being Human – Shame & Guilt By Ernest Kurtz
AA teaches that there is a wholeness in limitation. This understanding echoes an ancient tradition of wisdom, which saw being human as being caught in the middle, containing a contradiction. To be human, according to this tradition, means to sustain the tension of always being pulled in two opposite directions: to be more than humanContinue reading “Shame And The Meaning Of Being Human – Shame & Guilt By Ernest Kurtz”
What Is Toxic Shame – Healing The Shame That Binds You By John Bradshaw
John Bradshaw was one of the most influential writers on emotional health in the twentieth century as selected by his fellow mental health professionals. He was also an alcoholic in recovery. His areas of expertise include addiction, co-dependency , trauma, emotional instability , and abuse. This extract is the preface to the original edition ofContinue reading “What Is Toxic Shame – Healing The Shame That Binds You By John Bradshaw”