Click here to read more from Rick W and see articles about Step 1 and Step 2 . I find Rick’s short articles about what he calls the preparation steps from his excellent book ‘The Prep Steps:Setting Up Action In A.A. full of insights and extremely helpful – Bruce M.
Step 6: The Preparation for Step 7
From Awareness to Willingness
Meditation: Becoming Willing
God, I see what no longer serves me, but I confess I am not always ready to let it go. Help me be honest about my resistance without being ruled by it. Teach me that willingness is not weakness but trust. When I am afraid of who I’ll be without my defects, remind me that You already know me fully and love me completely. Make me ready in Your time, not mine. Amen.
If Step 4 helps us see the truth and Step 5 helps us admit it, Step 6 asks a quieter and more difficult question: Am I actually ready to change?
Many alcoholics assume that once defects are identified and admitted, their removal should follow quickly. When that doesn’t happen, frustration sets in. We wonder why insight hasn’t produced transformation. Step 6 exists precisely to address that gap. It acknowledges a reality we would rather avoid – that seeing our defects and being willing to let them go are not the same thing.
Step 6 prepares us for Step 7 by teaching us the difference.
The Difference Between Seeing Defects and Releasing Them
Awareness is not readiness. Step 4 shows us our patterns. Step 5 gives those patterns voice. Step 6 asks whether we are truly prepared to live without them.
This is where many alcoholics stall, not because they are dishonest, but because they are human.
Our character defects did not appear randomly. They developed as strategies for survival, protection, or control. Even when they no longer serve us, they may still feel familiar or useful.
Step 6 does not shame this resistance. It simply names it.
Resistance, Fear, and Attachment
When we slow down long enough to examine our reluctance, we often discover fear underneath it.
Fear of vulnerability. Fear of being ordinary. Fear of not knowing who we are without our defenses.
Some defects provide comfort. Others provide identity. Still others provide the illusion of safety. Step 6 asks us to be honest about what we believe these traits still give us.
This honesty is essential. God does not remove what we are still secretly clinging to. Step 6 invites us to bring those attachments into the light without pretending they don’t exist.
Willingness as a Spiritual State
Willingness is not effort. It is consent.
Step 6 does not ask us to fix ourselves. It asks us to stop resisting change. This distinction matters.
Many alcoholics confuse willingness with self-improvement, turning Step 6 into another project of control. True willingness is quieter than that. It is the internal shift from “I should change” to “I am open to being changed.” It is a spiritual posture rather than a behavioral plan. When Step 6 is approached this way, it becomes less frustrating and more revealing.
Signs of Genuine Readiness
Readiness does not announce itself dramatically. It shows up subtly, often in unexpected ways.
We know Step 6 is taking hold when:
● Defensiveness softens
● Justification loses its urgency
● We become more curious about change than afraid of it
There is often grief here as well, grief for the parts of ourselves we relied on, even when they harmed us. Step 6 allows space for that grief without letting it stop the process. Readiness does not mean enthusiasm. It means honesty.
How Step 6 Sets Up Action of Step 7
Step 7 asks us to humbly ask God to remove our shortcomings. Without Step 6, that request is often insincere or conditional. We ask while still negotiating terms. Step 6 clears the way for humility by aligning our internal consent with our outward request. When we are truly ready, asking feels natural rather than forced. We are no longer trying to manage the outcome, we are inviting transformation.
Step 6 does not change us. It makes us changeable. And that is exactly what Step 7 requires.
Chapter 4 – A.A. Literature References
● Big Book, Chapter 6: Into Action (p.76) “We’ve emphasized willingness as being…” and (p. 63) “but when I become willing…”
● Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions: Steps Six and Seven
Discussion & Reflection Questions
* Which character defects am I most reluctant to release, and why?
* What fears surface when I imagine life without certain defenses?
* How have I confused willingness with effort in the past?
* What signs suggest I am becoming more ready, even if I’m still uncomfortable?
* How has Step 6 prepared me to ask honestly in Step 7