This article is based on an ‘Emotional Maturity Card’ published by an Alcoholics Anonymous group from Akron, Ohio. Its author chose to remain anonymous. Since some say this card reflects the ‘real maturity and balance’ that Bill W. suggests in his classic article ‘The Next Frontier- Emotional Sobriety’, I’ve also added it to the Emotional Sobriety section of the gugogs.org website.
Here’s a quote from Bill W’s classic article that relates emotional sobriety with maturity:
“Emotional sobriety is the spearhead for the next major development in AA — the development of much more real maturity and balance ( which is to say , humility ) in our relations with ourselves , with our fellows , and with God”
You can purchase this small card here. I suspect most of us would agree that this is a compass that points us in the right direction rather than a destination we can claim to possess – Bruce M.
Emotional Maturity
The mature person has developed attitudes in relation to himself and his environment which have lifted him above “childishness” in thought and behavior.
My Mind Is My Garden,
My Thoughts Are My Seeds.
I Will Harvest Either Flowers or Weeds.
Some of the characteristics of the person who has achieved true adulthood are:
1. He accepts criticism gratefully, being honestly glad for an opportunity to improve.
2. He does not indulge in self-pity. He has begun to feel the laws of compensation operating in all life.
3. He does not expect special consideration from anyone.
4. He controls his temper.
5. He meets emergencies with poise.
6. His feelings are not easily hurt.
7. He accepts the responsibility of his own actions without trying to “alibi.”
8. He has outgrown the “all or nothing” stage. He recognizes that no person or situation is wholly good or wholly bad, and he begins to appreciate the Golden Mean.
9. He is not impatient at reasonable delays. He has learned that he is not the arbiter of the universe and that he must often adjust himself to other people and their convenience.
10. He is a good loser. He can endure defeat and disappointment without whining or complaining.
11. He does not worry about things he cannot help.
12. He is not given to boasting or “showing off” in socially unacceptable ways.
13. He is honestly glad when others enjoy success or good fortune. He has outgrown envy and jealousy.
14. He is open-minded enough to listen thoughtfully to the opinions of others.
15. He is not a chronic “fault-finder.”
16. He plans things in advance rather than trusting to the inspiration of the moment.
Last of all, we think in terms of spiritual maturity:
1. He has faith in a Power greater then himself.
2. He feels himself an organic part of mankind as a whole, contributing his part to each group of which he is a member.
3. He obeys the spiritual essence of the Golden Rule: “Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.”