I included this poem in the introduction to toxic shame. I hope it raises a consciousness of how shame may have influenced your life experience as well as pointing you to the many spiritual tools A.A. offers us. And perhaps it can serve as an encouragement to a devotion that feeds this internal yearning we may have for what is Infinite, Eternal and Transcendent. – Bruce M.
The Hole
Have you ever felt you were incomplete
Like a major part of you just was never installed
Why don’t I fit in
Why do I feel different
What is wrong with me
Why can’t I let go of this feeling I’m just not enough
And so the search begins
To find what is missing
To hold onto what is gained
A lifetime spent to fill the hole
People
Places
Things
Sex
Money
Power
Control
Accomplishments
Jobs
Relationships
Marriage
Kids
Drugs
Alcohol
Church and Religion
But still the feeling always returns
Sometimes it stays away for years it seems
And other times its endless grasp holds you tight
Whatever you throw its way
It consumes and asks for something else
What if the hole you felt was nothing more
Than a simple reminder
That you are not whole
That only He can fill this hole
And what you’ve spent a lifetime running from
And fighting to get
Is nothing more than His invitation
That resided patiently inside from the start
Always there
Ready when you are
To come and share your pain
And fill the empty center
That nothing else can cover or fill
And make your life something more
Than quiet desperation
And inconsolable futility
All alone