Addiction is essentially a strategy to control how we feel. We want to be happy or high or just not in pain all the time, so we keep drinking, smoking, popping, eating, gambling, or otherwise finding ways to alter our consciousness to feel the way we want.
This habit of control carries over into other areas of our lives, including our relationships, our work, how we treat our bodies, and how we treat our own thoughts and feelings. But these efforts are bound to fail. As Step One reminds us, we are powerless over much of life. We can’t control other people, the economy, or even our own bodies, much less our minds. So, this struggle becomes a painful battle against the world, and against reality.
The beginning of recovery is when we learn to let go of control.
We discover the same truth in meditation. When we first start to practice, we might have the idea that we should be able to control our minds, that we should be able to stop our thoughts and just focus on the breath. Soon enough we discover the futility of this kind of effort. We wind up in a battle with our own thoughts. We might go to our teacher and ask, “How do I stop thinking?” We’re told that this isn’t the point of practice, that we need to accept our thoughts and let them go.
At this point we are brought face to face with our wish to control everything, and the failure of this strategy. Now begins a process of letting go. We start to examine all the things we are trying to control, and we begin to dismantle that system. The practice of mindfulness meditation gives us a direct doorway into this work. It teaches us how to let go of thoughts and impulses in the present moment, giving us a tool that we can then apply more broadly in our life.
Today, reflect on the ways you can bring the attitude of mindfulness from your meditation into your daily living. See how the understanding that everything is impermanent affects how you address control; see the freedom that comes from letting go.