Repairing relationships is an amazing thing. But the amends this mother experienced was to “dye” for
Today I sit here at an AA women’s retreat full of gratitude. Sometimes, trying to find gratitude when you’re lonely and have no contact with family can be challenging.
I have six years and almost eight months of sobriety, and today I have gratitude for the little things, the kinds of things you can’t find if you’re looking for them. It’s those “ah-ha moments” that come to us. I have faith in my Higher Power, so I can pray and seek answers that eventually come when I can relax and listen. I’m forever grateful for the program and the amends process that brings me comfort and serenity.
One morning my phone rang, and it was my youngest child, to whom I hadn’t spoken in a year and a half. She came to see me since she lived only 45 minutes away and has a trustworthy vehicle. We spent three hours just visiting. I had already prepared my amends for her, and I asked if I could read it to her or if she would prefer to take it with her. She opted to take it with her.
About a year earlier, I called my stepdad and we talked for about an hour as I realized it was a good time to make amends. I let him know how much I appreciated him for raising my children and for being the father and grandfather that my biological father couldn’t. My oldest daughter moved from the state of Washington to Georgia to live with my stepfather and my brother. She’s not ready to talk to me yet and that’s OK.
After about a month, my youngest daughter and I spent a weekend together at her place. I met her roommates, and I can say that they all seem like very nice ladies. On Friday morning we woke up, and I went with my daughter to the beauty college she attends. I was her assignment for the day. She foil-wrapped my under layer of hair purple. It’s called a peek-a-boo. I love the look, and she did an awesome job. I was her first foil. She took me out to lunch and dropped me off at her house while she went to an appointment. Her house is so cozy, and I felt warm and comfortable staying there alone for a couple of hours. Her roommates went in and out and we said, “Hi,” and “Bye.” I got to love on the cats, and we had leftovers for dinner. My daughter brought me home around noon on Saturday.
I’m so grateful for her and that olive branch she offered. When she reached out and I responded by leaving the past in the past, I was able to remain in that very moment one day at a time. I sent her a text a few days later and asked her how she did on the assignment.
“I only missed one,” she texted back. I then had the opportunity to tell her how proud I was of her, which gave me so much joy. She sent a text back that said, “I love you, Mom.”
I’m extremely grateful for the amends process, the reunions of families that it brings and the love that is steadfast between a mother and daughter.