As a hard-charging marketer, I used to focus only on winning. I worshiped people like football coach Vince Lombardi, revering him as the patron saint of conquest. So any time one of my victories was less than complete–or, God forbid, I actually lost–my sense of failure was absolute. And this always made me a sitting duck for self-pity–the handmaiden of John Barleycorn.
Joe C., my sponsor, picked up on this soon after we met. He gave me some good advice. “Take the words ‘success’ and ‘failure’ out of your vocabulary. Replace them with ‘honesty’ and ‘effort,’ ” he said.
I wasn’t yet ready. I was an advertising hotshot who thought he knew more about competition than did Joe, an electrician at the time. So I continued my Type A behavior and reveled in constant conflict at home and on the job. But his words haunted me for years.
In time, I began to weary of the anger, resentment, and hate fostered by my competitive attitude. One day, another old-timer, Claude W., asked, “Why are you so afraid of losing? Don’t you trust God?” Heatedly, I pointed out that, like him, I was in marketing and was paid to succeed.
His response had roots in the same stock Joe had planted years before: “Don’t you know that success and failure share a common denominator?” He paused and then really let me have it. “Both are temporary!”
His words have stood the test of time. They helped me to stay sober and to find joy in my chosen profession, with my family and among friends. I thank God, Joe, and Claude for teaching me this lesson in plenty of time to reap its rewards.