“Just like you, I have often thought myself the victim of what other people say and do. Yet every time I confessed the sins of such people, especially those whose sins did not correspond exactly with my own, I found that I only increased the total damage. My own resentment, my self-pity would often render me well-nigh useless to anybody.
“So, nowadays, if anyone talks to me so as to hurt, I first ask myself if there is any truth at all in what they say. If there is none, I try to remember that I too have had my periods of speaking bitterly to others; that hurtful gossip is but a symptom of our remaining emotional illness; and consequently that I must never be angry at the unreasonableness of sick people.
“Under very trying conditions I have had, again and again, to forgive others — also myself. Have you recently tried this?”
Spot Inventory Mini Steps (page 91) – 1. We need self-restraint, 2. Honest analysis of what is involved (which may involve our sponsor or trusted advisor), 3. A willingness to admit when the fault is ours , 4. An equal willingness to forgive when the fault is elsewhere
12 & 12 Step 10 page 91 (numbers added)
See also post Step 10 Highlights for deeper dive on Spot Inventory Mini Steps