I lay on the cot in the bathhouse at the mineral springs. I was wrapped from head to toe in a woolen blanket. As I lay there, the blanket covering my face. I could almost feel each break line in my heart. I could feel the fractures in a way I hadn’t before. I knew then that healing my heart was one of the purposes of this journey.
Your heart may have been broken many times. Some breaks hurt more than others, but each break caused a fracture, a weakness in your ability and willingness to love, trust, and heal.
Don’t shut down. Don’t go away. Don’t tell yourself, My pain is not important. I’m stronger than that. That’s just the way life is. Those are all lies we tell ourselves, lies to hide the pain of the break. The smallest betrayal unexpressed, at least to ourselves, can cause damage to our hearts. Willingness is the key– willingness to feel all we need to feel, willingness to heal, to love again.
As you go deeper into your journey, deeper into your joy, go deeper into your heart. Mend and heal all those tiny breaks lines, all the fractures, all the cracks. As you go deeper into joy, you will go deeper into your pain, your grief, your losses. Don’t be afraid. That doesn’t mean you’ll return to despair or that you will live forever in grief and anguish.
Take the time now to mend the break lines. Go deep within your heart to help it heal. Bury the broken dreams. Release the hurts. Acknowledge the betrayals. And then lightly, gently, with love, rub a golden layer of forgiveness and love around your heart.
There comes a time in the journey to the heart when it is time to let it heal. The deeper we go into the healing, the freer we will be, the more we will know what we feel, and the more we will feel joy.